Thursday, September 30, 2004
THE MIDDLE OF THE NIGHT
You will never do what you want to do. You are too old. You are not smart enough. You cannot get into graduate school because none of your professors would even remember you at this point. How would you get letters of recommendation? How would you write a personal statement? What if your GPA isn't high enough? You'll have to retake the GRE, and that's a hard test. You won't score well. You've been out of school too long.
And, say you do go to grad school for journalism: What if it's a waste of time? It could be that you could learn everything you need to know with just a few classes & much less money. You'll go into terrible debt you won't be able to climb out of. You'll get old. You'll work where you work forever. What if you hate being a reporter? What if you don't make enough money as a journalist? What if you can't find a job? What if you hate school?
It's a stupid idea, anyway. It's dangerous. It's time to face the truth: You've failed at adult life. Just accept that. You will never do what you want to do. Just start adjusting to year after year, month after month, week after week, hour after agonizing, dull, tedious hour at this cubicle where you currently sit. You wanted to do so many things when you were younger, but what have you accomplished? Nothing, huh? Well, isn't that the most telling thing of all?
You have no talent. You have no creativity. You have no focus. You are not the least bit interesting or capable. You are just going to have to face the facts. You have no courage. You don't have what it takes. You never follow through with things. You are going nowhere.
-m (God help us all to laugh at this voice)
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You will never do what you want to do. You are too old. You are not smart enough. You cannot get into graduate school because none of your professors would even remember you at this point. How would you get letters of recommendation? How would you write a personal statement? What if your GPA isn't high enough? You'll have to retake the GRE, and that's a hard test. You won't score well. You've been out of school too long.
And, say you do go to grad school for journalism: What if it's a waste of time? It could be that you could learn everything you need to know with just a few classes & much less money. You'll go into terrible debt you won't be able to climb out of. You'll get old. You'll work where you work forever. What if you hate being a reporter? What if you don't make enough money as a journalist? What if you can't find a job? What if you hate school?
It's a stupid idea, anyway. It's dangerous. It's time to face the truth: You've failed at adult life. Just accept that. You will never do what you want to do. Just start adjusting to year after year, month after month, week after week, hour after agonizing, dull, tedious hour at this cubicle where you currently sit. You wanted to do so many things when you were younger, but what have you accomplished? Nothing, huh? Well, isn't that the most telling thing of all?
You have no talent. You have no creativity. You have no focus. You are not the least bit interesting or capable. You are just going to have to face the facts. You have no courage. You don't have what it takes. You never follow through with things. You are going nowhere.
-m (God help us all to laugh at this voice)
Thursday, September 16, 2004
"You are here, so am I
maybe millions of people go by
but they all disappear from view
'cause I only have eyes for you"
Very simple, very cool.
So, the new play started rehearsal. It's a food show. Long time readers (ha ha) will recall that I was working on a food show when I first started this blog & I ended up dropping out b/c I was (1) freaking out about the one year anniversary coming up and felt like I was losing my mind and (2) working a lot.
This year, I don't feel like I'm freaking out as much as I did last year (as soon as the weather changed), though it did hit me last Friday when I read an article in the Times about suicide. This year, I can't imagine I'll have the same reaction as last year. The first of everything (first New Year, first birthday, first Christmas, first Thanksgiving, first time someone asks how many siblings you have, etc.) seems to have been the hardest. I still can't think about it, though. What a stupid boy.
So, tomorrow night, I am going to see Debbie Gibson at a club with my friend John. This is probably a mistake. (Who knows? She might be more than a gay icon.) I did sort of see her when I was 13 at a theme park in Virginia. We couldn't get tickets (sold out), but we could hear her in the distance & we got a glance of her standing & singing in the center of the stage wearing one of those layered, poofy skirts once we reached the apex of the hill on the wooden rollercoaster.
We are rehearsing the food show in this abandoned food court. It's cheap rehearsal space & extremely weird. We seem to be outside of what used to be, say, a Ruby Tuesday's or a Friday's. I hope the show is good. I'm concerned about the script since there's too much exposition.
Happy Rosh Hashannah!
--m
|
maybe millions of people go by
but they all disappear from view
'cause I only have eyes for you"
Very simple, very cool.
So, the new play started rehearsal. It's a food show. Long time readers (ha ha) will recall that I was working on a food show when I first started this blog & I ended up dropping out b/c I was (1) freaking out about the one year anniversary coming up and felt like I was losing my mind and (2) working a lot.
This year, I don't feel like I'm freaking out as much as I did last year (as soon as the weather changed), though it did hit me last Friday when I read an article in the Times about suicide. This year, I can't imagine I'll have the same reaction as last year. The first of everything (first New Year, first birthday, first Christmas, first Thanksgiving, first time someone asks how many siblings you have, etc.) seems to have been the hardest. I still can't think about it, though. What a stupid boy.
So, tomorrow night, I am going to see Debbie Gibson at a club with my friend John. This is probably a mistake. (Who knows? She might be more than a gay icon.) I did sort of see her when I was 13 at a theme park in Virginia. We couldn't get tickets (sold out), but we could hear her in the distance & we got a glance of her standing & singing in the center of the stage wearing one of those layered, poofy skirts once we reached the apex of the hill on the wooden rollercoaster.
We are rehearsing the food show in this abandoned food court. It's cheap rehearsal space & extremely weird. We seem to be outside of what used to be, say, a Ruby Tuesday's or a Friday's. I hope the show is good. I'm concerned about the script since there's too much exposition.
Happy Rosh Hashannah!
--m
Friday, September 10, 2004
I want:
To take a "basics of reporting" journalism class that doesn't cost a fortune ($580 at NYU!)
To actually get some exercise this weekend
To see my dad, who has tuberculosis
To get a new job (5 resumes sent so far with no hits so far)
-m
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To take a "basics of reporting" journalism class that doesn't cost a fortune ($580 at NYU!)
To actually get some exercise this weekend
To see my dad, who has tuberculosis
To get a new job (5 resumes sent so far with no hits so far)
-m
I hate Enya
So, I'm listening to the Audra McDonald fan radio station on internet radio & every other song is freekin' Enya. They play a lot of easy listening. A typical list (by artist): Billy Joel, Enya, Sarah Brightman, Enya, Michael Crawford, Enya, Elton John. They never play Audra McDonald herself. I never thought that Enya & Audra McDonald fans had such an overlap. So, I am taking an unofficial survey here.
I realize only 4 people read this blog (I know who you are), but please tell me, if you are an Audra McDonald fan, how you would rate Enya on a scale from one to five (rate her according to how much you enjoy listening to her music, not necessarily whether you think she's good or bad or whatever). I rate her a one -- above Avril Lavigne & Evanesence(?), but not above much.
-m
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So, I'm listening to the Audra McDonald fan radio station on internet radio & every other song is freekin' Enya. They play a lot of easy listening. A typical list (by artist): Billy Joel, Enya, Sarah Brightman, Enya, Michael Crawford, Enya, Elton John. They never play Audra McDonald herself. I never thought that Enya & Audra McDonald fans had such an overlap. So, I am taking an unofficial survey here.
I realize only 4 people read this blog (I know who you are), but please tell me, if you are an Audra McDonald fan, how you would rate Enya on a scale from one to five (rate her according to how much you enjoy listening to her music, not necessarily whether you think she's good or bad or whatever). I rate her a one -- above Avril Lavigne & Evanesence(?), but not above much.
-m
