Sunday, June 20, 2004
From my father, I inherited my facial bone structure, first of all. I also have his corporal bone structure -- the female version. There is also this thing my dad does with his mouth. He sort of hangs his mouth open, and I've seen myself do it in pictures.
He was a surfer when he was a teenager. He used to go to the beach & put peroxide in his hair until it turned orange. He didn't tell his parents; he said they probably just thought it was from the sun.
When we were small, he sometimes took us for a drive, especially in Ft. Pierce when we visited our grandparents. He would drive us down to the jetty & we would either go fishing or we would ask the fisherman about their catches. We would walk all the way to the end of the jetty & I always imagined that there were sharks and even whales out there. It was probably not that far out. I'd love to see it now.
Sometimes, he took us to the beach to swim. He would rinse his feet off in the little shower on the boardwalk.
Sometimes, he would swim with us in the pool in the apartment (we called it the "department" to be funny) where he lived after my parents' separation. He kept his contact lenses in when he swam even as he told us he wasn't supposed to.
One quality of my dad's is that he is a bit of a rebel. He used to drive really fast over this bump in Ft. Pierce so that our stomachs would jump up & drop & we would all scream. Sometimes, he would drive over it more than once if we could convince him.
He also likes to eat raw beef. I know it's gross, but he does it because he knows he's not supposed to. It's that rebel quality. He's been told not to eat raw beef, but nothing bad has ever happened to him because of it, so he eats it to prove the rules wrong.
My father also loves to be alone, well, not alone, but in the safety of only those closest to him. He clings to his wife & his immediate family -- especially his wife. He doesn't like to let others in. He doesn't like to keep the blinds open in the house. He likes privacy because it makes him feel safe.
He also fights this urge. His wife is very out-going, one of the most extroverted people I have ever met, and she has many, many friends. I think he likes having people around even though they scare him. I think I inherited both the need for security & the fight against that tendency to close off from him.
My father can also be very racist & anti-semitic. Sometimes, I can't believe he really is that way, but then he'll say or do something over-the-top, like making fun of people in Central Park for not speaking English, and I will be reminded. He has also always been very right wing, except for gay rights. Because of his wife, whose uncle is gay & whose family accepts him, he is pro-gay. In the 20 years they've been together, she has turned him around on that issue. (Also, of course, all of "mainstream America" has turned around to some extent, ever since Clinton).
I sometimes wonder if I am so "left" as a reaction to my father being so "right." I actually don't know why I am the way I am politically & why he is how he is. Sometimes, I think it's his generation, but a lot of people from his generation are much more progressive than he is. I don't feel like I'm a product of my family when it comes to politics, but I might be, right? Either way, it seems like my father & I are the only ones who have strong political views at all -- or maybe we're just the only ones who express them.
My father has a tendency to be overly critical & harsh. He can be a perfectionist & a control freak. I can also have these tendencies, as proven by my relationship with my last roommate.
Let's see. What else? My father has a very dark tan because he's always spent a lot of time in the sun. He loves to play word games & always thinks of different names for my friends -- names that rhyme or sound similar, or something. Maybe it's his sarcastic sense of humor.
He is smart & knows a lot about history, facts, geography, sports trivia (don't a lot of men?), etc. He gets up very early (5?) every morning & reads the newspaper while drinking his cup of instant coffee & smoking his morning cigarettes. He has been a smoker since he was a teenager. He likes to drink Miller Light beer.
My father is very meticulous about the condition of things. His home is always in very good repair. If so much as a light bulb burns out, it will be replaced immediately. His lawn is always mown, raked, trimmed, etc. He keeps up with things very well, probably pays all his bills on time & has excellent credit.
My father can come off as being very rude to people -- strangers & family members alike. He hates his mother. Well, he doesn't hate her but he can't stand to be around her & has to force himself to be nice to her. He reads a lot, mostly if not solely, popular fiction. He likes to fish. I don't think he believes in God or religion.
His children are his life, as he has been a father for almost 32 years.
-m
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He was a surfer when he was a teenager. He used to go to the beach & put peroxide in his hair until it turned orange. He didn't tell his parents; he said they probably just thought it was from the sun.
When we were small, he sometimes took us for a drive, especially in Ft. Pierce when we visited our grandparents. He would drive us down to the jetty & we would either go fishing or we would ask the fisherman about their catches. We would walk all the way to the end of the jetty & I always imagined that there were sharks and even whales out there. It was probably not that far out. I'd love to see it now.
Sometimes, he took us to the beach to swim. He would rinse his feet off in the little shower on the boardwalk.
Sometimes, he would swim with us in the pool in the apartment (we called it the "department" to be funny) where he lived after my parents' separation. He kept his contact lenses in when he swam even as he told us he wasn't supposed to.
One quality of my dad's is that he is a bit of a rebel. He used to drive really fast over this bump in Ft. Pierce so that our stomachs would jump up & drop & we would all scream. Sometimes, he would drive over it more than once if we could convince him.
He also likes to eat raw beef. I know it's gross, but he does it because he knows he's not supposed to. It's that rebel quality. He's been told not to eat raw beef, but nothing bad has ever happened to him because of it, so he eats it to prove the rules wrong.
My father also loves to be alone, well, not alone, but in the safety of only those closest to him. He clings to his wife & his immediate family -- especially his wife. He doesn't like to let others in. He doesn't like to keep the blinds open in the house. He likes privacy because it makes him feel safe.
He also fights this urge. His wife is very out-going, one of the most extroverted people I have ever met, and she has many, many friends. I think he likes having people around even though they scare him. I think I inherited both the need for security & the fight against that tendency to close off from him.
My father can also be very racist & anti-semitic. Sometimes, I can't believe he really is that way, but then he'll say or do something over-the-top, like making fun of people in Central Park for not speaking English, and I will be reminded. He has also always been very right wing, except for gay rights. Because of his wife, whose uncle is gay & whose family accepts him, he is pro-gay. In the 20 years they've been together, she has turned him around on that issue. (Also, of course, all of "mainstream America" has turned around to some extent, ever since Clinton).
I sometimes wonder if I am so "left" as a reaction to my father being so "right." I actually don't know why I am the way I am politically & why he is how he is. Sometimes, I think it's his generation, but a lot of people from his generation are much more progressive than he is. I don't feel like I'm a product of my family when it comes to politics, but I might be, right? Either way, it seems like my father & I are the only ones who have strong political views at all -- or maybe we're just the only ones who express them.
My father has a tendency to be overly critical & harsh. He can be a perfectionist & a control freak. I can also have these tendencies, as proven by my relationship with my last roommate.
Let's see. What else? My father has a very dark tan because he's always spent a lot of time in the sun. He loves to play word games & always thinks of different names for my friends -- names that rhyme or sound similar, or something. Maybe it's his sarcastic sense of humor.
He is smart & knows a lot about history, facts, geography, sports trivia (don't a lot of men?), etc. He gets up very early (5?) every morning & reads the newspaper while drinking his cup of instant coffee & smoking his morning cigarettes. He has been a smoker since he was a teenager. He likes to drink Miller Light beer.
My father is very meticulous about the condition of things. His home is always in very good repair. If so much as a light bulb burns out, it will be replaced immediately. His lawn is always mown, raked, trimmed, etc. He keeps up with things very well, probably pays all his bills on time & has excellent credit.
My father can come off as being very rude to people -- strangers & family members alike. He hates his mother. Well, he doesn't hate her but he can't stand to be around her & has to force himself to be nice to her. He reads a lot, mostly if not solely, popular fiction. He likes to fish. I don't think he believes in God or religion.
His children are his life, as he has been a father for almost 32 years.
-m
