Monday, April 26, 2004
A Note from the Soap Box
Just overheard at work: "Everybody gets a break. If you're poor, you get all these breaks. If you're middle class, screw you."
What about the "breaks" that I, as a middle class child, grew up with:
We didn't get food stamps, but we had all the food we could eat. We didn't go away to the country via the Fresh Air Fund, but we went on vacations as a family. We didn't have a landlord because we lived in a house that my family owns. We didn't go to any health clinics & stand in line for hours or go without important medical treatment because we had health insurance. I didn't HAVE to work after school, so I was on the Swim team. When I wanted to be in the Band, my mom rented a musical instrument. When I bought my first car, my parents helped me. I also got a decent education (though not top notch by any means). I also lived in a fairly decent, fairly safe neighborhood (though not the greatest or safest neighborhood) to grow up in. I also went to college -- not for free because my parents could afford to help me! Some other random things we had: Christmas presents; Birthday presents; Dinner out every once in awhile; Parents that worked at stable jobs where they made a decent living; A car; A washer & dryer. Fairly decent (though also fairly cheap) clothes. And, we're white, so we didn't have to deal with any racial discrimination!
We didn't have everything. We weren't rich, but I certainly wouldn't say I had a "screw you" kind of childhood. Things are much worse for many people. And, because I didn't grow up in an affluent or upper-middle class home/neighborhood, I knew people who didn't have everything I had. So, I know that I had some stuff -- some opportunities & some comfort & some things. And, I'm glad I had these things. I think everyone should have these things, more or less, though I know that some people have more & some people have less.
Some people, i.e. people who sit near me at work & talk loudly on the phone during the day, have this attitude of scarcity. If a person from a less-privileged background gets a job because a big law firm has decided to recruit summer help from, say, a public high school in NYC instead of just accepting applications from whomever or instead of just hiring their friends' sons & daughters or nephews & nieces, then the person who called to get his friend's son top bid for a summer job at a big law firm sits there & complains that the middle class get screwed.
But, isn't it a "screw you" situation, too, for someone to only be able to get those jobs through connections? I guess in that case, they're just screwing the wrong person?
One second later, this guy is talking about how our generation (meaning my generation or younger, not his; he's in his 50s) thinks the world owes us something, that we get out of college & we immediately think, "What are you going to do for me?"
But, wasn't he just then feeling like this law firm owes him something by "owing" his friend's son a summer job (or at least an interview) instead of -- as he perceives it & I doubt it's the case -- "giving" the job to some kid from the "inner city"?
The playing field will never be level. You will always have competition, if not from the applicant interviewing next, who studied harder than you, then from the applicant after you whose parents could afford a fancy private school that feeds into the Ivy leagues, or, less often, from the kid who would never have the chance to apply for this job if the company didn't go to his high school to recruit people. Why do you only lash out at the third type of applicant listed above, Mr. Screwed Middle Class? Is it, perhaps, because that is the only person listed above that you have power over?
The playing field will never be level. People will like or want you more (or less) because you're white or Jewish or Asian or male or tall or their friend's son or from the same hometown or WHATEVER. Get on with your life. But, DON'T try to make it even harder for people who have fewer advamtages than you to make it. It's very unlikely that your friend's son won't get a job. He just isn't automatically going to be given the job because he knows someone -- and he's not used to this, just like most middle class people (including me, to some extent, I admit). What people in the middle class don't understand (myself included sometimes) is that people aspire to be middle class. That doesn't mean it's easy & there's no more hard work & everything's given to you.
God, I hate people!
-m
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Just overheard at work: "Everybody gets a break. If you're poor, you get all these breaks. If you're middle class, screw you."
What about the "breaks" that I, as a middle class child, grew up with:
We didn't get food stamps, but we had all the food we could eat. We didn't go away to the country via the Fresh Air Fund, but we went on vacations as a family. We didn't have a landlord because we lived in a house that my family owns. We didn't go to any health clinics & stand in line for hours or go without important medical treatment because we had health insurance. I didn't HAVE to work after school, so I was on the Swim team. When I wanted to be in the Band, my mom rented a musical instrument. When I bought my first car, my parents helped me. I also got a decent education (though not top notch by any means). I also lived in a fairly decent, fairly safe neighborhood (though not the greatest or safest neighborhood) to grow up in. I also went to college -- not for free because my parents could afford to help me! Some other random things we had: Christmas presents; Birthday presents; Dinner out every once in awhile; Parents that worked at stable jobs where they made a decent living; A car; A washer & dryer. Fairly decent (though also fairly cheap) clothes. And, we're white, so we didn't have to deal with any racial discrimination!
We didn't have everything. We weren't rich, but I certainly wouldn't say I had a "screw you" kind of childhood. Things are much worse for many people. And, because I didn't grow up in an affluent or upper-middle class home/neighborhood, I knew people who didn't have everything I had. So, I know that I had some stuff -- some opportunities & some comfort & some things. And, I'm glad I had these things. I think everyone should have these things, more or less, though I know that some people have more & some people have less.
Some people, i.e. people who sit near me at work & talk loudly on the phone during the day, have this attitude of scarcity. If a person from a less-privileged background gets a job because a big law firm has decided to recruit summer help from, say, a public high school in NYC instead of just accepting applications from whomever or instead of just hiring their friends' sons & daughters or nephews & nieces, then the person who called to get his friend's son top bid for a summer job at a big law firm sits there & complains that the middle class get screwed.
But, isn't it a "screw you" situation, too, for someone to only be able to get those jobs through connections? I guess in that case, they're just screwing the wrong person?
One second later, this guy is talking about how our generation (meaning my generation or younger, not his; he's in his 50s) thinks the world owes us something, that we get out of college & we immediately think, "What are you going to do for me?"
But, wasn't he just then feeling like this law firm owes him something by "owing" his friend's son a summer job (or at least an interview) instead of -- as he perceives it & I doubt it's the case -- "giving" the job to some kid from the "inner city"?
The playing field will never be level. You will always have competition, if not from the applicant interviewing next, who studied harder than you, then from the applicant after you whose parents could afford a fancy private school that feeds into the Ivy leagues, or, less often, from the kid who would never have the chance to apply for this job if the company didn't go to his high school to recruit people. Why do you only lash out at the third type of applicant listed above, Mr. Screwed Middle Class? Is it, perhaps, because that is the only person listed above that you have power over?
The playing field will never be level. People will like or want you more (or less) because you're white or Jewish or Asian or male or tall or their friend's son or from the same hometown or WHATEVER. Get on with your life. But, DON'T try to make it even harder for people who have fewer advamtages than you to make it. It's very unlikely that your friend's son won't get a job. He just isn't automatically going to be given the job because he knows someone -- and he's not used to this, just like most middle class people (including me, to some extent, I admit). What people in the middle class don't understand (myself included sometimes) is that people aspire to be middle class. That doesn't mean it's easy & there's no more hard work & everything's given to you.
God, I hate people!
-m
